Whether you’re reading this for tips, prevention of a mundane sex life or simply to spice things up a little for an anniversary, I stress that every couple is different, and hence, every individual is different. You may find spanking a great arousal booster but your partner might not be so into it. The point here is to find a level playing ground where both sides of the couple can experience pleasure whilst not compromising their morals or comfort levels. Because really, sex is all about mutual, shared pleasure and if you’re being selfish and one sided during sex, well, then, that’s what masturbation is for!
1. Make sure you aren’t always in the missionary position. Try getting your hands on a Kama Sutra book because whilst not all positions are extremely difficult some can take practice and once perfected can heighten your sexual arousal levels immensely. (See link to free Kama Sutra book at end of book).
2. If missionary is your desired position try alternating the varying levels of your (the woman’s) legs. For example, they can be wrapped around the guy’s waist, or lower under the buttocks, or lifted up and high with calves to the side of the guy’s face. Or alternatively he can hold onto your legs by the calves and pull them back towards your face.
3. The sixty-nine position is a great way for both partners to receive pleasure at the same time. Although some find it difficult to give pleasure whilst receiving it, it can be highly satisfying once you get used to all the sensations.
4. Location, Location, Location. Switching locations every now and then can really help liven things up. No matter how great the sex, and no matter how many positions you are alternating between, if your stuck in the same bed, night after night, things are going to get a little monotonous. Try mixing things up by varying the places in which you chose to make love besides the bedroom. Some obvious examples include making love in the shower, on the kitchen table (followed by a thorough cleaning), on a dishwasher (preferably whilst it in is motion), in a closest (confined spaces are a great sexual boost and make you really work for it: see #5), or simply up against the wall.
5. Try the wardrobe. Novelty is an intense aphrodisiac and any unusual setting, with strange sensations, smells and muffled sounds, will make sex feel new, upping the excitement. Confined spaces also add urgency. Wardrobes aren’t the kind of places you want to linger, so they’re great for a quickie.
6. But if you do want to take the love making outside, here’s a little information for your benefit.
Choose the right place!
Common places where men and women have sex are: parks, public bathrooms, plane bathrooms, movie theatres, cars, woods and fields, elevators, the office, department store
restrooms, swimming pools, balcony’s, on the roof, telephone booths and others.
Before you decide to have sex in public weigh all the risks and keep in mind that in most states sex in public is prohibited and you might get into some serious trouble. If you consider yourself brave enough, choose the place that has the lowest risks. For example, if you get caught having sex in the office, it might affect your career, so you should decide for yourself if it is worth trying.
7. Making love in the water is also a great boost, whether it be in a big spa bath, a swimming pool or even the beach (which you should thoroughly check that there is positively no one about or within seeing distance, as children frequent the beach often).
Here’s a little extra information:
Sex in the water is often a way to beat the bedroom boredom and add some spice into your sex life. However, not all water adventures end up in sexual bliss for couples. Sex in the bath can be tricky enough and you should be prepared to face certain discomfort.
First of all, in spite of the fact that you won’t have lack of moisture in the bathroom, your body will be dry in the most intimate zones. In fact, water washes away all the natural lubrication, making penetration less comfortable. The gentle tissue of the vagina can become irritated and together with other chemicals like bubble bath, soap and oils it may cause some irritation and make you more susceptible to thrush.
So if you want to stay lubricated during water fun, it is better to use some lubricant that is not water-soluble like silicone lubricant.
8. This might go without saying but deciding to ‘join the mile high club’ is most definitely a fantasy location worth the miss. Do you really want to be all naked and sweaty where someone has just recently done a number two? I think not. Keep it in your pants during plane travel. The tip here is that such a location as plane toilets is better left on paper and in theory.
9. Whilst giving a blow job, remember to pay attention to the balls. Play with them, fondle them frequently. Also, be sure to make noises and moans as this really turns guy’s on.
10. Also, whilst giving a blow job, make sure to tell him to let you know when he will be ejaculating. Just when he tells you he is about to ejaculate, pull his erection out of your mouth just before he cums and allow him to stroke his erection until he squirts into your mouth. The vision of seeing his cum squirt
into your open and waiting mouth will be sure to send him through the roof!
11. Look into each other eyes. Don’t shut your eyes during the process of making love or you can miss a lot of additional sensations. Make sure to spend an entire love making session maintaining complete eye contact with your partner. Keep eye contact all the way from the beginning during foreplay till the hot ride at the end. It allows the opportunity to bond with your partner and allows a sense of deep intimacy to be created in the fact that you know who your lover is and this is exactly where you want to be. If your partner has never initiated eye contact, a simple “Look at me, (Insert Name)” will suffice just fine. You’ll hardly feel such a burst of emotions on your partner’s face in other circumstances.
12. Talking about how the sensations are making you feel can enhance anyone’s ego. For example phrases such as “Your pussy is so tight”, “I love the way your pussy grabs my cock, so sweet and slick.” Or for women “You’re so big, so heavy,” or “You fill every inch of me,” can dramatically increase your partner’s ego. For women using such talk, try to use phrases that emphasize how “big and heavy” your partners cock feels, as this is primarily the exact words to sky rocket a man’s ego. Mostly though, try to be more direct when talking about delicate issues and encourage your partner to give direct answers. For example, instead of saying “I like when you touch me there”, say “I like when you touch my clit”. And for guy’s – many women can become extremely aroused by dirty talk, but some not so much. Check with your partner before proceeding.
13. If extreme dirty talk isn’t your thing though, being more vocal in bed is as simple as incorporating moans and growls. For women, moaning in pleasure is your best bet and using the words ‘Yes! Yes!’ Or even ‘Harder’ can do the trick for most. Guy’s: moaning and growling deep at the back of your throat is also great at letting your partner know what she’s doing right. The most simple and effective word to say though is his or her name. Either whispered, said on a sigh of pleasure or screaming it at the top of your lungs will do great for boosting intimacy during sex.
14. Dirty talk doesn’t have to be the only way for partners to bond during sex through audible stimulation. A simple “You’re so beautiful,” and “I love you”, can dramatically enhance the love making experience provided of course that you do indeed love your partner. However, complementing your partner’s beauty is an extremely intense way of connecting with your partner on a emotional level. Guys: Try to avoid words such as “You’re so
pretty and “You’re cute,” because those are the words people often use to describe things such as “Those puppies are so cute,” and “That’s a pretty dress.” But the word ‘beautiful’ gives out a whole new vibe, a connecting vibe, and guys should be wise to use it. Also, calling a woman ‘sexy’ is a great way to boost her confidence and have her feeling desirable and willing.
15. Compliment him. Make your partner feel as good as you do by telling him what you really liked and how you want him to give you those wonderful sensations over and over again. Do not hold your emotions back. Share your excitement with your partner thus creating a special level of intimacy.
16. Romance novels are far more than the 21st century Cinderella meets Prince Charming get up that they used to be. A new line of “Erotica” books are exactly the kind of literal material any woman should be setting out to get her hands on. Most erotica novels are extremely graphic in their language and from personal experience; one can become wet just from reading the deliciously naughty phrases used in such novels. Think verbal porn and its best. And trust me, there a plenty of benefits. They are chock full of dirty talk and sexual ideas. Buy one and leave it around the house, maybe your partner will find it and get inspired.
17. Lingerie is a no brainier. Try to stick with blacks, reds and pinks and of course, lots and lots of lace. There is an endless supply of lingerie in stores these days so finding them is not a problem. Push ups bras are a great way to boost your more enhancing assets and leaving on crotch less panties during sex can be incredibly erotic for the guy.
18. Speaking of lingerie. Leave the bra on during sex. Then as your thrusting (preferably on top) pull the bra off exposing the until-now hidden gems.
19. And speaking of leaving things on… got a pair of six inch killer red heels? Leave them on, but everything else off! Never underestimate the power of stilettos!
20. Want another use for your killer red heels? Got a big down to the knee overcoat? Don’t live with your partner? Perfect! Show up at his place wearing only your coat and those heels, enter, strip off your coat… need I say more?
21. Playing games during foreplay can be a great, fun way to explore new found pleasure. The “I want…” game is one of my favourites. The premise of the game is for one person to ask for something they want, in which their partner complies and then
vice versa. Most “I want’s” are for the pleasure of yourself. For example if a woman says “I want to suck your cock,” this doesn’t exactly pleasure her as much as it pleasure’s the guy and therefore she must only use such a “want” if it truly is going to pleasure her in some way. A better example would be for her to say “I want you to suck on my nipples.”
Here is an example of a conversation: Guy: “I want you to grab my erection.” In which the woman proceeds to do. Then she demands something: Woman: “I want you to rub on my clit.” And so on and so forth.
22. Another game worth a try is the “May I?” game. It entails that either the man or woman ask “May I (insert desire here)? before proceeding to do such an act. For example a woman could ask a man “May I run my hands over your chest?” To which the man will of course say yes. Then “May I take off your pants?” The May I’s? are supposed to start off simple but proceed into naughtier territory as time passes. So if you start off with a “may I stroke your nipples?” by the time you reach the end of the game make sure your language is as explicit as can be e.g. “May I suck all the cum of your cock?” To which he will enthusiastically say yes! And the great part is that it can work both ways.
23. Introducing food into the bedroom can be great fun. Although choosing the right foods are of great importance. Try and steer clear of sticky foods like honey and focus on quick and light foods that you enjoy eating. Whipped cream is a great example as is chocolate. Although I find sherbet powder to be the greatest aphrodisiac. Women: Sprinkle a trail of powder over your breasts, down your naval and all the way around your clit and in the lips of your vagina. If your guy doesn’t like giving oral sex then powder down there is a great way to capture his interest and have you tasting to die for.
Here are some more helpful hints on using food in the bedroom:
The sweet bubbles are a definite crowd-pleaser. Try pouring it over each other — not to the point of drenching your mattress, couch, office chair, etc. — and licking every drop off. If you are well-prepared, chill the champagne before your rendezvous so that when you hold the liquid in your mouth and tease her with your lips, she’ll feel the cool sensation. Women take note: Holding champagne in your mouth then taking your man’s member in your mouth could be disastrous! The
bubbles in champagne might give great sensation elsewhere on the body, but you have to remember the head of the penis, particularly the area just below it, is extremely sensitive and exposing it directly to champagne can be quite painful. The clit however is fine. See #62.
This food fantasy, mint, creates a tingly, cooling sensation that is perfect for oral sex. Suck on a strong mint, and be sure to roll it around in your mouth, then dive right into oral sex. For extra-intense pleasure, you can actually use the mint to roll across the clitoris (or across your nether regions if you can handle the hot/cold sensation). Be aware that some mint is quite strong and can cause pain instead of pleasure. Tread lightly.
Time to put a spin on an old classic: Chocolate sauce is always a food fantasy favorite, but it’s been done before. To change things up a bit, dip a paintbrush in chocolate sauce and draw a map on your body. Have your girl follow the path, hitting each of your hot spots as she journeys along. Add more chocolate to the areas you’d like her to focus on. In keeping with tradition, feel free to add in some whipped cream and a couple of cherries.
No, not the gum; please, no gum! Instead, grab a sweet, juicy orange, grapefruit, strawberry, peach or even a watermelon (in small pieces). Take a piece of fruit and gently rub it across her lips, neck and breasts. Licking the sweet juices is a treat for the libido and the taste buds. Making sure there is no sticky residue remaining is the best part — it will require harder sucking.
Hot and cold water
Switching back and forth between temperatures can really heat things up and is a great food fantasy addition to the bedroom. During oral sex, have your girl drink hot water and then give you a little mouth action. Then switch it up to ice cubes. You’ll love the sensation. Ice cubes around her nipples can also be an intense sensory experience for her.
This food fantasy is a great combination of fruit and ice: sweet, cold and delicious. Not that Popsicles should not be inserted anywhere — sugar in the Popsicles can cause bacteria to build up in women, leading to infections. Use them to trace over body parts or to make your tongue nice and cold for bodily exploration.
Cucumbers and carrots can double as sex toys, but be careful. The veggies should be washed thoroughly to get rid of pesticides (which can cause severe irritation). You should also be aware that while very pleasurable if used appropriately, things could go terribly wrong. Pieces of veggies can break off after they have been inserted into the body. Searching for “leftovers” can be awkward, to say the least. The last thing you need is a trip to the ER to have said food fantasy items extracted.
Food fantasy don’ts
• Do not use spicy foods like chilli peppers or cayenne. You could be in for a world of hurt.
• Do not allow substances to get too close to the tip of your penis or inside your gal’s vaginal opening. Certain foods, especially those containing sugar, can cause bacteria build-up, leading to yeast infections and other irritations. Be sure to clean up properly.
• Do not double dip. Use squeeze bottles, when available. Dipping your fingers in and out of chocolate sauce containers can be a tad unsanitary.
• Do not use foods you are normally allergic to. It is just common sense.
• Do not fall asleep with food on or inside you.
24. Ice, Ice, Baby. Take an ice cube and run it over sensitive spots, like his nipples, lower stomach, and inner thighs. Follow each stroke with your hot breath on the area, letting your lips graze the skin.
25. Got an early meeting in the morning and have to rush off to work before your partner awakes? Why not leave them a naughty request for later on that day when you return home. A simple note saying “I’ll meet you in our bedroom at exactly 7 pm. Be there and be naked!” will be sure to have him excited all day long at the possibilities and it gives you both something to look forward to.
26. Role play is a great and fun way to spice things up. There is an endless amount of roles both you and your partner can master. Dressing the part (i.e. wearing uniforms, or wearing glasses if you’re a “naughty secretary”) is fun, easy and extremely varied. He could be the doctor, she the naughty nurse. Or better yet, he the sick patient, her the naughty, and very helpful nurse. Or he can be the teacher, she the student, or vice versa or the boss and his naughty secretary, pilot and co-pilot. Try and be
inventive with your role playing for example he could be the mechanic and you the poor girl who doesn’t have enough money to pay for it to get fixed… but wait! You know about a lot of others way in which you could pay him…
27. Also, try and expand the role playing out of the bedroom. Have your partner go to a certain bar, sit at the counter and pay for a drink. In you come to the same bar, spotting your partner ‘for the first time’, wearing the hottest outfit you could conjure. He is the sexiest guy in the bar and you have to have him! Waltz on up and meet him, introducing yourself and flirting as if it’s the first time you’re meeting each other. Then role play your way through a ‘one-night stand’.
28. Want to take role playing just that step further? Dressing up in uniforms can be a really easy way to get into the role playing spirit. Nurse uniforms are universally mainstream, and you can’t go wrong with leather of any kind. Even a bright blonde deep red, or sultry brunette wig can liven up the role play and transform you into your alter ego (and making up a name for your alter ego is an easy way to transform in the moment).
29. Or how about a bunny costume? You could be the new playboy bunny in town.
30. Safe Rape -
One of the most negative things sex can associate with is rape. No one denies that pleasure and sexual assault don’t make a pair… with a rare exception. A lot of women claim to desire for a “safe rape” as one of the most arousing experience. So what is “safe rape”?
To tell it more precisely, I would name it an intercourse spiced up with elements of brute force. The usual scenery takes place between well-known partners or an attractive stranger who is “tough but somewhat patronizing” and who is absolutely confident of his actions, the more so he never doubts his abilities or so called success of the most passionate night you both are going to have. A woman will certainly resists his charms at first but soon gives in to his vigor to experience divine pleasure of capitulation.
Due to all this a session, where man enforces woman to have sex, takes her without any condition or objections becomes so appealing to many women. Anticipating the possible disapproval, I can say that no woman will want to go through actual rape. As unlike the feelings sexual assault evokes: fear, anger, pain and humiliation, the end of “safe rape fantasy” is always satisfaction and bliss. What a woman needs in safe rape is to feel the real
masculine power and submissiveness. All this actually takes its roots from the days where gender roles were pretty clear: a man was powerful, protective and confident, a woman – obedient, weak and sensitive. And if we actually think it over, our instincts have old history and haven’t changed so much with the time: masculinity compliments feminity and sexual power strives for weakness. In this regard safe rape is the return to the core of our deepest urges. So if you are willing to fulfill the ultimate sex fantasy of most women and give her a treat that will make her feel a bit vulnerable, go for it.
31. Up for some extreme pleasure/pain? S & M is an abbreviation for Sadist / Masochist sex. It is a term used to describe the sex and its many bits and pieces of pain associated with this type of sex. The sadist inflicts pain and asserts control over the masochist, with both parties enjoying their role of definition. Such results can be achieved through bondage, handcuffs, whips, spikes (to an extent), spanking (see #32) and many others actions emphasizing power and submission.
32. Without a doubt, spanking can be great fun. A little spank on the buttocks here and there can really arouse some women, and whilst some feel ashamed at feeling such arousal from something as fierce as spanking, as long as it is done in a playful manner, spanking can be a great combination of pleasure and pain.
33. Communicate. Sit down, crossed leg on the bed, and spill out your naughtiest, sexiest, raunchiest fantasies. No barriers, just talk and work out ways in which you could achieve these fantasies. Learning to communicate is vital in a topic that includes as many facets as sex does.
34. Not afraid of needles and pain? Why not get a very naughty piercing. It could be as mainstream as your tongue or belly button, or delve even further and get the following sexually arousing piercings such as nipple rings, penis head piercings, vaginal piercings etc.
35. Women: Want to experience the ‘two at a time’ pleasure but don’t like the idea of another man getting his hands on you? No problem! Using Vibrators and Dildos can be great substitutes for the real thing. Get your partner to ease a dildo into one hole, whilst he fills the other one. Double hole pleasure can be indescribable but overwhelming at first so make sure you are more than ready and wet beforehand.
36. Or if a threesome with another man is your idea of having fun by all means introduce another into your bedroom for the
night. Ménage à trois are still regarded as great taboos within society but if your willing, don’t let such talk stop you from receiving such pleasures. Two girls and a guy works like a treat too.
37. Strategically placing mirrors around the bedroom so that you may watch yourself while your partner makes love to you can be incredibly arousing. As mirrors are extremely difficult to place on the roof, try buying portable standing mirrors to place behind the bed, to the sides or even use the mirrors in the bathroom. Viewing yourself whilst having sex can be incredibly erotic and you might just be in for a surprise as to how naughty you may feel at watching such a thing.
38. Here are some more options as far as mirrors are concerned. You could be on the bathroom sink, watching yourself over your partners shoulder and you thrust into her. Or you could strategically place portable mirrors around the room allowing complete angle access. Or even a simple full length mirror (preferably the ones incorporated as closet mirror sliding doors) where if she is on all fours and the man is penetrating from behind, you can both watch the action which can prove to be exceptionally erotic.
39. Hold onto the thought of that full length mirror! Men: Stand behind your woman with her back to your chest. Both of you should be completely naked. Reach one hand around her body to play with her clit while the other hand plays with her breasts. The point of the mirror is so that either you both watch your movements over her vagina, or you lock eyes in the mirror.
40. Or take it a step further and video tape yourselves having sex. However, this type of thing is a very touchy subject in today’s society. Life isn’t perfect and relationships do turn ugly more often than not. If you’re truly willing to make a sex tape with your partner, either take steps towards securing the tape so that it may never be leaked online, or at least understand the repercussions if the relationship goes sour and it ends up online. Having said that though, video taping yourself and watching the play back with your partner can be incredibly arousing. Or more positively, you could even learn what you may be doing wrong, or right!
41. On the topic of watching yourself… have your man lean up off the bed as he is thrusting into you, while you are straddling his lap, lay your foreheads together and look down. Both watch as he enters you and then pulls out, watch how wet his cock gets with your juices. Thrust slowly, so that every bit can be seen
entering, retreating, entering etc. It can be highly erotic to
watch something like that.
42. When one is without sight, every touch, every sensation is heightened. Your sense of everything around you is heightened to compensate for your lack of sight. Try blindfolding your partner (make sure they aren’t peaking) and have your way with them. For the one being blindfolded, it can be incredibly arousing not knowing what’s coming next, what they will do or how they will pleasure you.
43. Bondage is also a great way to spice things up. You can simply tie both hands above their head, or you can do all fours (both hands and feet). Make sure bonds aren’t too tight, and of course – always have a safe word (‘stop’ seems like the most preferable and relevant of the lot). Bondage allows the other person to be in complete control over there partner to do as they please, how they please. For many this submission on one side and complete control on the other side can be unbelievably thrilling.
44. Speaking of control and submission, such roles can be played out without the use of bondage. Simply decide who is in control and who must submit to the others every desire. Taking control and demanding can be truly arousing and is worth a try at least once. (This is a milder version of S & M).
45. Camping trip? Just you and your partner, alone, in a tent, in the middle of nowhere? Try making love within the confines of the sleeping bag. It increases the intimacy to heightened levels and can really give a sense of connection and bonding.
46. And what could be better than making love under the stars? A great idea is to take that sleeping bag out under the stars, to look up and see your partner’s face surrounded by thousands of stars whilst making love can be incredibly emotional.
47. Many women prefer a fully waxed pubic area. But a new trend that came about in the 21st century is specialised waxing. It is a specific type of waxing that allows certain letters, symbols, words of hair to be waxed so that the hair reveals such images. A great way to make your guy go wild is to have the first letter of his name waxed into your public region. An arrow pointing towards your clit is also a great idea, or for your wedding night – a love heart is quite a romantic gesture.
48. And speaking of romance – as far as women are concerned – there can never be enough romance in the world. And such romantic gestures are sure to create a heightened sense of connection whilst making love. Men rely on visual stimuli for
arousal, where as women rely on the emotional connection, as well. A great way to achieve such connections is through romance. And what better way to show romance than by good old fashion gestures. Buy your woman flowers or chocolates, give her a neck massage or fill a bath with scented soaps, rose petals and light a few candles here and there. Romance may be old fashioned but it is a sure fire way to get any women in the mood.
49. A great (if somewhat challenging) way to spice up ones sex life is to abstain from having sex for a certain amount of time. The saying ‘Absence makes the heart grow fonder’ couldn’t be more true in this case. Whether you abstain for a week, two, or even three – hell maybe even a month – the end result could be a soul shattering climax of pent up sexual frustration. As a rule of thumb, the more time you abstain from sex, the higher your sexual tension rises, thus leading to more frenzied and ultimately satisfying and poignant sex.
50. Having a sexual partner typically means that masturbation is no longer a requirement. However, if you want to send your guy wild – masturbate in front of him, touch yourself everywhere, your breasts, your clit – but follow one very important rule – he mustn’t under any circumstances touch. He can look all he wants (pant all he wants) but he must refrain from touching you as you pleasure yourself. Combine the touching with loud moans and groans, breath heavy and bring yourself to a climax within minutes. Guaranteed to sexually arouse any man.
51. Feeling really dirty? Porn isn’t as much a taboo as it used to be. In this day and age of the internet – porn is half the reason for internet alone. Pornhub.com has a great variety of free minute to hour long videos that are a great source of inspiration for sexually frustrated couples. Watch some with your partner, work out some moves or roles to play, or even have it playing in the background and let the dirty porn stars words beam through the speakers as you have sex. Or better yet – imitate them.
52. Taking a women’s virginity is always going to be a tricky situation. Try easing her into it by beginning with a heavy round of foreplay. Tend to her clit first, make sure she is plenty wet (or for good measure, as she may be quite nervous for her first time and is unable to relax – buy some lubrication). Try to make her come first through clitoral stimulation so that she is nice and wet and willing. Before entering her with your erection though, first ease one finger inside and let her adjust to the feel and width of it. Then ease a second finger, then a third. If you think she isn’t as ready as she could be, try giving her a g-spot
orgasm (see tip # 88) so that she will be more than wet by the time you finally decide to enter. There are two approaches to taking a girls virginity. And yes, it is always bound to hurt the first time. There are two methods of approach here – in which you should discuss with her beforehand on what she would prefer. You can either enter her slowly, inch by inch, stretching her as you go and letting her adjust to the pain. Or you can enter to full hilt, in all force, stretching her in one (painful) thrust. It is truly up to the female and the first method does seem a lot more preferable.
Here’s a little light reading about “First Time’s”:
Having sex for the first time is really an experience that influences our further sex life to a greater or lesser extent. However many numerous affairs and experiences you go through your life, this first awkward and somewhat intimidating one is like a bright spot in a book that makes all the other encounters connected with your first intercourse.
But the thing is that most often our first time sex takes place in the age where libido urges are pretty insistent and go ahead of our “brain” and our emotional maturity. At most 17-18 years old your know-how is rather narrow in terms of real relationships. As I said, you are more physical than emotional at this age. And considering that developing sex into a kind of great thing does require some skills, which are not only techniques and the stuff but your ability to find understanding with your partner on a mutual level, your first time sex becomes somehow a clumsy trial. And that is not considering a lot of other reasons like curiosity and a desire to feel mature.
And I think that the start really has its after effects on your future experience, especially if it was an “unsuccessful” one. Of course with time you learn a lot and you become so to say an expert in some things, but if your first time happened with the wrong partner, on a wrong time and as often with a hot temper and head, the disappointment becomes a usual thing. And you need quite a time before you overcome that first time blunder and learn to see sex as a way to give and achieve ultimate pleasure.
53. Women: hate going down on your partner? And don’t like the idea of spraying whipped cream down there every time he wants some head? If you don’t like the idea of using food ‘down there’ then flavored condoms are a great idea. It makes giving head that whole lot more fun and won’t leave you gagging for some toothpaste. Tell your partner that if he wants fellatio, then this is all your gonna give. They come in all different flavours these days and it is almost as if you really are sucking on a lollipop…
54. Also, one of the main reasons women hate going down is because of the ‘nasty’ taste of semen/pre-cum. There is salt in sperm so for some it can be quite pleasurable, others not so much. Men: make sure you drink lots of water! A man’s diet has a great deal of influence over the taste of the sperm. It has been said that if a man consumes pineapple juice on a regular basis, his sperm will have a sweeter taste. On the opposite end of the spectrum, if he smokes a pack of cigarettes every day and drinks a pink of whiskey with dinner, well then the sperm may end up tasting like gasoline! Make sure you watch your diet.
For better tasting sperm try: Grapes, melons, mangos, apples, parsley, celery, cinnamon, peppermint and lemon
For horrible tasting sperm: Cauliflower, broccoli, asparagus, garlic, onions, sodas, alcohol and nicotine
55. Or a very simple and easy way, add some taste to oral sex by rubbing his penis with a mint-flavored lube.
56. While you’re down there next, pull his pants down to mid thigh, just above the knees. It limits the movement of his legs and makes him feel like a captive at your mercy.
57. Love bites (or alternatively known as ‘hickeys’) are a great way to pay attention to your lover. They are temporary bruises or marks caused by kissing, sucking or biting the skin forcefully enough to burst blood vessels beneath the skin. Love Bites can be somewhat reminiscent of your teenage years (as it is typically prominent among teenagers) and can bring back some pleasant memories. Try and contain the love bites to places not visible to others (as much as at the time of giving someone one on the neck seems pleasurable – by morning its more of an embarrassing inconvenience). For women a great place to give them a hickey is just above the breast – it’s in an erotic spot and isn’t visible to others. For guys just below the belly button and just above the penis.
58. It goes without saying that one should be sun smart when frolicking on the beach or anywhere out in the sunshine. Offering to rub sunscreen all over your partner is a great way to stay sun smart as well as cop a feel on a crowded beach. But make sure your hands stay within all safe boundaries when in public, unless the beach is deserted that is…
59. Going to dinner/a wedding/social function and wearing a killer dress? Don’t wear any panties underneath and then just before you leave for the night out tell your guy that you’re not wearing
any panties. It’s bound to have him hot all night knowing that you’re completely bare underneath and only he knows.
60. Massaging your partner can be a great way to increase intimacy in the relationship and give you a chance to make your partner feel good simply with your touch. Massaging with oils are a great idea and the best places to massage are on the neck and the entire back. For the best access to a full back massage is to place your partner facing down on their stomach with you straddling their buttocks giving you complete access. And bear in mind, there is no need to master the art of erotic massage in order to please your partner. What you really need is some imagination and a playful mood. You can stroke his body with your hair, or your breasts, you may ticklishly run your eyelashes along his body. Take time with the massage, and use it as a form of foreplay. Don’t rush to his penis or testes (once you turn him over) this you may leave as a dessert. Explore every inch of his body until you see him urging for your sweet touch down there.
61. A strip tease is a great way to spice up your sex life. And it goes both ways: man to woman, woman to man. Music is optional. For women a great song is “Slave for you”, by Britney Spears and “Baby Boy” and “Naughty Girl” by Beyonce. For guys, any of that corny strip music will be great for a laugh and can be quite effective if you know what you’re doing.
62. Lap Dances are an effective and simple way to arouse your partner. Sit him on a chair, straddle him, do your thing. And for an extra added amount of zing – blind fold him and make sure he stays put in the chair. Lap dancing can be quite easy to do as most of the focus is to do solely with the lap area creating friction on the man’s penis and giving him a great shot of your breasts as you move up and down on his lap.
Here’s a more in depth look at Lap Dances:
If you want to give a real surprise to your lover, the best way to do so is to take him aback with a lap dance.
Lap dances are an erotic dance that is usually performed when your partner is seated. The observer should keep to the rule of not touching you during a lap dance (which makes it extremely arousing) and you are trying to virtually seduce your lover with your performance. Though you might not be a professional, some basic techniques are easy to learn.
How to start Set the mood
The most important thing for performing lap dance is to feel sexy and attractive for your beloved one. If you start criticizing yourself, you simply cannot deliver the erotic message to your lover. Take off the clothes and look at yourself in the mirror – you should admire your own body. Keep in mind that he loves you in spite of all the minor imperfections.
You can also do some rehearsal: close your eyes, sway your hips in tune with music, imagine yourself as a kitten to make your movements smoother.
Dress to be undressed
It is more essential what’s underneath your clothes. Wear something special like sexy stockings, lacey lingerie, but make sure you feel comfortable in your outfit. On the outside it can be something very simple, like his shirt or something just as sexy as your lingerie.
Set the scene
Turn on the soft relaxing music. Sit him down to the chair and position yourself in front of him. Start swaying your hips slowly in tune with music, getting closer to him. And away you go…
63. This should go without saying but the woman’s body is a place to be explored and one of the most commonly overlooked places on the female body by men, surprisingly enough, is the breasts. Take time to tweak the nipple of one breast between your fingers while you suck on the other one. Take time to perfect the perfect suck and tweak rhythm making sure to switch between breasts. It is verifiably possible for a woman to come through breast stimulation alone so don’t be one of those men who squeeze the area and move on satisfied! There is a whole playing field right there on her chest that will send her wild!
64. And did you know a guy’s nipples are just as sensitive as the woman’s? Get to it ladies!
65. Blow Bubbles. Take a swig of champagne before you go down, keep it in your mouth by creating a seal with your lips, then use the tongue to swirl the bubbles around her clitoris. Nerve endings react to the bubbles, heightening sensation.
66.Treat her clitoris gently. Probably the most common mistake men do when stimulating women’s clitoris with their fingers is when they imitate their penis stimulation. When it comes to her clitoris, any harsh stimulation can spoil her pleasure. First of all, explore her genitals, finding her clitoris, her labia and the opening of vagina. Do not start right with clitoral stimulation; give her some time to build up the arousal. Besides, rubbing her in the wrong place can be quite annoying and ineffective. Run the tips of your fingers over her inner thighs, play with her pubic hair, gently touch her labia to make her anticipate pleasure. Tease her until she will hint you by spreading her legs wider or pushing her thighs forward.
67. Have your man lean against the headboard of your bed. Straddle him and place your vagina lightly over his penis. Take the penis in your hand and rub the end against your clitoris as if it were a finger. Slide it up and down the outside lips of your vagina, teasing your clitoris and all the way up to your belly button. Keep doing this until either you come, or he comes on your belly.
68. Toys are a great addition to spice up anyone’s sex life. Besides dildos and vibrators, a great addition is a ‘Butt Plug’. They are designed to be inserted in the anus for sexual pleasure. They are what they are described to be – plugs, that plug your anal hole whilst the other hole is being filled by your partner. The difference between this and a dildo is that it plugs right where it should be and there is no room for any fall out while your rocking around in pleasure. Be mindful though that you are heavily lubricated before inserting one of these.
69. Or alternatively, get your hands on an inflatable butt plug. These are exactly the same as butt plugs except they inflate over time. So you basically just stick it in, and it slowly inflates to a maximum size, increasing the hole of your anus. It helps if preparing for anal with a man of very big proportions.
70. Sleeping naked after sex is often a given for most couples. But try to (unless the climate does not permit) sleep naked every night. The unclothed body to body contact will increase intimacy levels greatly. It’s a simple act with great results and by the morning… well you’re pretty much ready to get at it!
71. Pole dancing is a great way to not only get in shape but sex up your confidence. Even if your partner never gets to see you pole dance, for many guys, just knowing that their partner is pole dancing sheds them in a whole new sensual light. And hey if you’re lucky and find yourself and your partner on a deserted street with a lamp post…
72. Working out is not only a great way to loose weight, but is widely known to release endorphins that make you happy and give you some much needed energy for your sex life. Every once in a while, make sure to go on a run with your partner, by the time you get home you’ll be undeniably all sweaty, and what better way to cool down than some heated shower sex. Or watch your partner work out. The flexing of the muscles, or the up down jig of the breasts and the sweaty musk smell you only get from hard work can be a great aphrodisiac for some.
73. He/She’s half way across the world and your sexual frustration is flaring out of control? Phone sex can be a great way to connect with a partner while they are away. This however, does rely solely on words, so dirty talk is a must. Be prepared to be as nasty as possible with your words. Such words that should be used to reach a climax over the phone loosely include: “cock, pussy, thrust, wet, clit,” and every other explicit word imaginable. Lots of moans are required and of course – the touching is ever so important. And the results can be off the charts if the right words are used!
74. Strip poker can bring a lot of fun into the bedroom. The rules are simple. You lose… you lose a piece of clothing along with it… until you’re left with… well… nothing on.
75. Men: Have your partner sit down on your naked lap, her back to your chest, your erection placed between her buttocks cheeks. Have her spread her legs out and instruct her not to move a muscle. Bring your hand around and play with her clit. The friction of her buttocks writing against your erection and her complete submission to let you have your way is sure to have her climaxing in no time. Hint: Make sure she doesn’t move until you instruct her to… she will climax as soon as she does start to thrust against your fingers.
76. Text your man racy one-word messages that, when strung together, hint at what you want him to do to you that night, or rather, what you are going to do to him!
77. In the middle of intercourse, dig your nails into his butt and pull him closer.
78. Create a buffet of sensual pleasure by blindfolding your man. Then alternate using a cashmere glove, silk panties, and a piece of leather to stroke his skin. Next, it’s your turn!
79. To help you orgasm during missionary, slip a small vibrator over your clitoris while he’s on top. He’ll also reap the benefits from that extra bit of buzzing on his nerve endings.
80. In girl-on-top, as you are sliding up his penis, contract your vaginal muscles, squeezing your way up his member. Then release and slide back down his penis. The clenching of the muscles will help you reach orgasm and give him a tight fit. For more information on PC muscles see # 90).
81. Panties on a woman during oral can increase the sexual frustration to heightened erotic levels. For example, finger her under her panties. The barrier of clothes can make the act seem all that more exclusive and naughty. And for guys, leave your jeans on and have her suck your cock through the zipper.
82. Vacation sex is a great way to spice things up. And choosing a romantic spot such as the Bahamas or the Greek Islands can most certainly do wonders. Treat it as your second honeymoon, or if you’re not married, just make sure that the time is spent with each other, learning things about each other and exploring each other sexually. Vacation is a perfect time to relax and it gives you hours on end to make time to make love.
83. Light the fireplace. The glow of the embers can cast both you and your partner in a more appealing light (literally). Pull up a rug, make some hot chocolate and sprawl out in front of the fire. No TV, no radio, just the two of you talking and watching the fire. If you want to do romance and increase intimacy during sex (hopefully sex on the rug after the hot chocolate) then this will be a great start.
84. This tip might be a little silly to some, and some may say irrelevant, but dancing is a great way to spice things up. This is because it basically entails that you must touch without touching, being so close and yet so far. The intimacy of a dance, and being so close together and yet not touching the way you want can be a great aphrodisiac as it increases your sexual tension immensely.
85. In sexual context ‘edging’ refers to the process of bringing yourself or a partner right up to the point of orgasm and then pulling back before release, and then repeating the process. Edging can be lots of fun and it’s also a great way to deepen your connection to your own, or someone else’s sexual response. The whole point of edging is to prolong and postpone orgasm, so edging can take any length of time, but the results are always worth it.
86. Here’s a technique called ‘The Slide’. Get her to kneel on the end of the bed with her upper chest touching the mattress, while you stand behind her. This creates a steep angle for her back and elongates the vaginal barrel. It makes her feel tighter, you get a fantastic view and she’ll enjoy having her nipples gently stimulated by rubbing on the mattress. Everyone’s a winner.
87. G Spot and G spot positions:
The G-spot: some think it’s a myth; others are convinced that it’s not only real, but it’s also highly effective in triggering mind- blowing female orgasms. While the scientific community may still be divided on the G-spot’s existence, ask any woman who has had a G-spot orgasm, and she’ll tell you that it’s definitely there, and she wants you to stimulate it.
Locating the G-spot can be an epic quest. It can be remarkably easy to find in some women, while in others it’s almost impossible. If you put your finger insider her vagina with your palm up while she’s on her back and then bring your fingers up in a “come hither” motion, you should be somewhere close to the G-spot. Manual stimulation of the G-spot may be the easiest way to explore its possibilities, but you can also incorporate it into intercourse. If you choose the right positions, you’ll have a greater chance of hitting her G-spot.
Rear-entry positions are some of the most reliable when it comes to stimulating the G-spot during intercourse. You can try it doggy style or in the spooning position (both of you lying on your sides, facing the same way as you enter her from behind) for a more relaxed option. In order to have the greatest chance of success with a rear-entry position, the penis should rub against the front wall of the vagina. When she’s on all fours, she should arch her back slightly and not put her head down on the bed. You can try lifting her hips a little and thrusting in a downward motion to perfect this G-spot position.
She’s on top
Many women prefer positions in which they are on top. This probably has a lot to do with the fact that when she’s on top, she’s in control. Woman-on-top positions, like cowgirl and its variations, are great for hitting the G-spot because the woman can angle her hips just right, allowing her to find the arrangement that feels best to her. She can try leaning forward or back while adjusting the speed and pressure applied to the G-spot.
The right rotation
Rotated Woman is a tantric sex position that is excellent for stimulating the G-spot. Start by lying flat on your back with her straddling you, facing away. Then she should carefully lean down until she can grab your ankles and is lying on top of you. Once in position, she can move up and down or circle her hips in a figure-8 pattern. The angle makes her vagina tighten up, so the rubbing of the penis provides intense G-spot pleasure. She may also get some clitoral stimulation in this position, so she can have the best of both worlds.
Heels over head
Positions in which her feet are on your chest or shoulders are also great G-spot positions. In tantra, this position is referred to as The Flower Press. Start off like you would if you were using the missionary position, then once you have penetrated her, she should lift her legs up and back until they are pressed against your chest or over your shoulders. You can lean against her thighs for support while she grabs your hips and brings you closer for maximum penetration. This G-spot position works because of the angle of the penis as it enters and the depth it can reach.
To get into the fusion position, sit up with your legs stretched out in front of you and your arms behind you for support. Your partner should straddle you in the cowgirl position and then lean back, putting her weight on her arms behind her body. She then can rock back and forth. This G-spot position is difficult to maintain for a long time since it will tire her arms quite quickly, but trying it out is worth it since the angle and motion are great for hitting the G- spot.
88. Do not overeat. During arousal and intercourse, the blood flows to your penis, and excessive food will not contribute to a better erection. It’s better to include vegetables, like celery and tomatoes, nuts, seafood, olive oil and other healthy foods in your diet, especially if you plan a hot evening. Fast-food and alcohol will make you sluggish in bed that won’t look sexy for your partner.
89. Avoid monotony. There is no need to focus all your attention on her clitoris. At some point she may want your fingers inside her vagina and then again on her clitoris- be receptive to small clues she gives you. If your technique becomes predictable, it may sooner no longer bring her that pleasure she once experienced. Also sticking your fingers inside her vagina right from the start is not a good idea. If she is not fully aroused, your fingers may become useless. It is better to use your fingers playfully, touching her outside and inside and keep up with her needs.
90. For women, PC muscle (the muscles of your vagina) exercising not only strengthens her vaginal muscles but also intensifies her sensations. You can squeeze your PC muscles around your own fingers, sex toys or around your man’s penis. It is very simple to do. Remember back to a time when you needed to pee so badly but weren’t within reach of a bathroom. Well, you held it in by clenching the muscles of your vagina together, right? Well, that’s all you need to do. And you can do it sitting down at your desk, right now in fact. Just clench in and out. Voila!
91. Here are 10 foreplay tricks she will love:
Give her gentle kisses all over her body to find her sensitive spots. You may be surprised to discover new hidden zones on the back of her neck or inner thighs. Use your lips only while kissing, slowly gliding them along her skin waking her body with every touch of your lips.
Your tongue is a best tool when you explore her body. Skillful lovers know that the tongue can be even more artful in bringing women to orgasm. For warming up you can start from her neck and ears working down to her navel and belly, continuing your way up her back and buttocks. Keep it wet and your tongue flat and relaxed while fluttering along her body.
Her skin is very receptive to touch so use your hands to awaken her body. Spontaneous moves are highly appreciated by ladies so do not ignore small signs of attention outside the bedroom. Place your hand on her knee or on her thighs when she is not expecting it. She will feel a nice tingle that will attune her for something more spicy. Massage her erogenous zones using gliding strokes of your hands – this is effective technique that is both relaxing and arousing.
Lightly scratch her back and buttocks or draw lines with your fingers. This can make her purr with pleasure. Be gentle not to leave marks on her skin or she might not enjoy your initiative.
Use your fingers to softly pinch her moan zones – many women like sensations that are slightly painful. The most important thing here is to keep to a happy medium. Do not pinch too hard as it can actually be a turn-off. She might like if you pinch her nipples or
buttocks – it stimulates her nerve centers and make her feel an amazing mix of sensations.
Warm her up, stroking her butt with your palms and then spank her. Spanking is a source of sexual pleasure for many women who enjoy feeling like a “bad girl” while you “punish her”. Her buttocks are full of nerve endings and that gives intense sensations. Keep to a happy medium while performing spanking – do it light and soft so as not to hurt her, stroking her butt from time to time.
A nice buzz of vibrator on her hot spots can become an unforgettable experience for her. Using a vibrator for massaging her erogenous zones can bring unforgettable sensations to her especially when performed by you. Vibrations are more than welcome if you use them on her most intimate zones. Though be careful as she might reach orgasm faster than intercourse starts.
Give her quick light bites on her ears, neck, inner thighs, breasts or butt. These are most receptive zones for sensual biting. Be careful not to bite too intense or you can cross her pain threshold. The key to pleasant biting is her feedback- if she moans and wriggles – go on to set your wild passion free.
Blow on her neck, her ears and her clitoris for delicate stimulation. Breathing warm air on her sensitive zones is a good non-touch technique for teasing. You can add more sensual treat to your play stroking her erogenous zones with a silk scarf or a feather while blowing.
Take an ice cube in your mouth and run it between her shoulder blades or her belly. This can make her wriggle with pleasure but don’t expose her to cold touch too long. Make sure to warm her sensitive zones rubbing her skin with your hands after cooling.
92. Give oral sex while your partner is asleep. Nothing is better than waking up to oral strokes from your lover. Your partner will think he/she is just having a wonderfully erotic, sensual dream and then they’ll wake up and realise it’s you who is physically pleasuring them.
93. Taste your partner’s sperm. If you’re a guy fingering a girl, once she climaxes and comes all over your fingers pull them out and suck all the juices off your fingers. It’s so carnal it’s bound to
make her all hot with erotic thoughts. Or better yet, send your guy wild by pulling his penis out of your vagina during sex and licking your juices off his penis. Enough said… his tongue will be wagging.
94. Women: Right before he is about to climax, spread your legs really wide (as wide as you possibly can). It allows him to plunge really deep as he explodes with pleasure.
95. As he is waiting for you to come into the bedroom, put on a white t-shirt and completely drench it with water. Your naked breasts will be clearly visible underneath and your nipples will be hardened peaks through the fabric from the cold of the water. Walk out and watch as his jaw drops!
96. Listening to music during sex can be a great booster and can take care of any awkward silences you may have during sex. Ever seen those scenes in the movies where the actors are going at it like rabbits with heavy rock music blaring in the background? Well, when opting for some pounding hardcore sex go for some straight out Heavy Metal like Metallica. Or if you’re in the mood for some serious, slow love making, go for some soulful RnB music like Usher. Stick to whatever gets you in the mood though, and be mindful that every genre of music can be used for different types of sex.
97. Probably the most simple of all tips is this one. Girls: Remove the condom for him. It is the simplest way of showing that you care about him, almost like a thank you for the great orgasm he may have just given you.
98. Three lines. Teenage fantasy. Abandoned road. Back Seat.
99. Before he gets home from work take a photo of yourself fully clothed in your most desirable outfit. Place it just outside the front door. The next photo should reveal you again, but with one item of clothing taken off your body. Put that photo a few feet away from the first. Continue to place the photos in a trail leading towards the bedroom, with each time in the photo revealing more and more of your clothes being shed. When he gets home, he can follow the photos all the way to the bedroom where you will be waiting, stark naked. Get him to take the final photo.
100.Woman on top: How to ride a man.
Woman on top sex positions can be not only very gratifying for a woman but also one of the most favorite guy’s position. The reason is simple: being the receiver in the process of lovemaking, he can simply enjoy the ride while watching the beautiful curves of the female body. However, being on top doesn’t only mean you sit there and move. In order to derive most pleasure from this on top sex position, women and men need to find the best comfortable and enjoyable angle to move.
There are a lot of variations to woman on top sex position. You can choose some of these:
1. Man lies on his back, woman leans forward towards man’s face, resting on her hands.
2. Man lies on his back, woman faces away from man.
3. Man is sitting with his legs wide open, woman embraces him sitting on top and facing him.
4. Man is sitting, woman is sitting on him facing away.
5. Man lies on his back, woman is lying on him with her legs along his body.
6. Man is sitting with his legs wide open, woman lies on her back ,facing the man, resting on her elbows and her legs around man’s waist.
Throughout all these variations though, it is most important that you both feel comfortable. For a woman, finding the right angle can be crucial to increasing her pleasure as well as his.
101.Try to, at least every once in a while, control your orgasm and work together so that you can both orgasm at the same time. That way no one is left behind and the combined feeling of both of your releases is a spectacular must try. It might be hard work for some but it will be most definitely be worth it in the end.
http://www.scribd.com/doc/14819505/Kama-Sutra http://www.urbandictionary.com http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/tips http://www.askmen.com http://www.redbookmag.com/love-sex http//www.answers.yahoo.com http://www.realsextips.com http://www.sexuality.about.com